I just wanted to post some encouragement for those of you who are struggling with vaginismus, or those of you struggling with self image as a result of vaginismus.
A year ago my husband (estranged at the time) and I went to Women’s Therapy Center (WTC) after 3 years of marriage and a 10 year relationship. I was cured last April.
Obviously this was a huge deal for many reasons: because I was cured; because it transformed my marriage and allowed us to reconcile; but most importantly it taught me that I am capable of much more than I ever gave myself credit for.
When my husband walked out, I found WTC, made the appointment, raised the money to go (see link below for how it was done), and convinced my husband – who had moved out – to try one last thing, all within 2 months. Then I completed the program doing what we all feel was the impossible! These were no small feats for just a couple months as I’m sure many of you know.
After we left WTC things started to fall into place but I still struggled with low self esteem, feeling depressed, etc., and I couldn’t figure out why. I’ve always struggled with weight and self consciousness.
We moved from North Carolina to Las Vegas in 2013 and I weighed 220 pounds after that summer. Yes, I was unhappy and I was frustrated with myself and my weight, but I also had come to the conclusion that it was never going to change since it was something that I always struggled with. Vaginismus only encouraged me in the department of self-hatred. I had come to the conclusion that my body just didn’t work. Not only did it not work for sex, but I also was not meant to be skinny. My body was broken and I had shut down.
After going to Women’s Therapy Center in April 2014, my life completely changed. It wasn’t perfect by any means, and Charlie and I have had to work really hard to get through the pain that was caused prior to going, but going there taught me about my own strengths and abilities. It was through these experiences and afterward coming out and seeing the other side that I knew that my body did work and that I had just become content with my situation.
In August 2014 I really set my mind to losing weight and becoming a healthier person, as did my husband. Since August he has lost 50 lbs and I have lost over 75 lbs. 2014/15 was a transforming year for my husband and me. It wasn’t just about sex (although that was a very big part), it was about being comfortable in my own skin… Something I never felt before. Being cured allowed me to see me for me and the possibilities that lie within myself.
I hope this is an encouragement to some of you who may be struggling with self-image issues due to vaginismus. Taking those first steps toward being cured will lead you to a world of possibilities you never imagine (and I know there’s still plenty in store for me).
D.P.L, April 2015
For how she raised money to finance her treatment, watch the video at the bottom of Creative Financing