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Oral sex – yuck?

To do it, or not?

The following are common questions about oral sex, also known as cunnilingus:

  • Is it enjoyable? Typically, yes.
  • Is it safe? Yes, unless the do-er has oral herpes/cold sores/dental infection, etc.  Another precaution: if the man is uncircumcised, it is important to make sure that the foreskin is properly cleaned.
  • Is it gross? That depends on your perception of sex and sexuality.
  • “Do I have to swallow his semen?” No, you do not — most women don’t.  You and your partner need to develop a signal he will give before he is about to ejaculate so that you can move your mouth away.
  • “What’s to like about it?” The tongue can move at various speeds, and powers (= hard, light, etc.), and it is wet (= no need for lubrication).  The penis/clitoris would not ‘know’ what touches it as long as the touch is sexually arousing.  The rest — thoughts/fantasies/doubts — originate in the brain…
  • Can oral herpes/cold sores be transmitted to the genitals? Absolutely!!
  • “I do not feel my vagina smells clean…” A reminder: the vagina, like the penis, has its own scent.  You need to be clean, not sterile down there.
  • “Should I shave my pubic hair?” Your choice; some women do, while many do not bother.
  • Can oral sex be performed on both, the genitals and the anus? Only if you move from the genitals to the anus, but NEVER the reverse.
  • “Does everyone do oral sex but me?” Not quite.  It is a personal choice, which some take and others decline.  Some religions prohibit it altogether.
  • “I have a new partner and I would rather not mouth his penis for fear of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.  What shall I do?”  Hooray to you for being so wise!  Make sure he dons either a plain (without spermicide/lubricant) or a flavored condom before you perform oral sex on his penis.
  • Can oral sex be done to a woman during menstruation? Yes, if she uses tampons.
  • Can pregnancy happen via oral sex? No, unless you end the oral sex by allowing him to ejaculate by your vaginal opening.
  • Is oral sex considered sex? Although some would only define sex as intercourse (penis-in-vagina), the truth is that anything that has to with sexual activity/arousal is considered sex.

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center

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