From a long-term Vaginismus Survivor, cured 10 years ago*
This message is for anybody who is thinking of putting off their treatment due to cost, or unwilling to go into debt for treatment. I am speaking from long-term (ok, what I consider to be “long-term”) experience.
March 2013 will be my 10-year anniversary of being cured. We finished paying off the loan to go to Women’s Therapy Center (WTC), and pay the travel expenses, several years after my treatment. IT IS THE BEST INVESTMENT WE EVER MADE. So, yes, it took a few years to pay it off, but while we were scrimping a bit during those years, we had a marvelous time with our new sexual relationship. I had so much more confidence. I walked taller. I felt like my marriage was “real.” Hubby, of course, was (and still is!) very happy.
We then had two beautiful daughters, who are now ages 7 and 5. I’m not going to lie: they make me crazy on a daily basis. (That’s their job.) But my husband and I wouldn’t trade either of them for the world.
Marriage is still tough even with sex, but it’s wonderful too. My husband and I love each other very much. We’ve been married for over 13 years now and we’ve certainly had our ups and downs like any married couple. But I truly think going through vaginismus and then getting cured–together–really made us realize how much people take sex and intimacy for granted.
I’m not a big fan of debt, credit card or otherwise. We’re pretty careful with our money and budget. But if you had a life-threatening illness that needed surgery and you had to pay a fee similar to WTC’s, you’d do it and manage around it. Have a plan…pay it off as fast as you can, budget (we’re big fans of the YNAB system and software for budgeting–Google it and you’ll see what I mean.) BUT DO IT NOW. NOT IN A FEW YEARS.
I was married for 3 years before I was cured. My husband hung in there for the long haul and I really have no doubt that he would have continued to had I not been cured. My ONLY regret about treatment is that I didn’t seek it out sooner than I did.
HUGS to you who are suffering in silence. I did, too, for many years. It’s behind me. IT CAN BE BEHIND YOU, TOO. DO IT*.
Detroit area, Michigan
* Results may vary from person to person