My story starts very similar to everyone else’s*
My story starts very similar to everyone else’s. I first knew that I had a problem when I was 16 years old and not able to insert a tampon. My mom never used them so she really never instructed me on how to use them. All my friends used them and I couldn’t get one in. Every time I would try to put one near the area I would freeze up.
When I was 17 years old I went to the gynecologist because I would get bad cramps and Mom rightfully thought that birth control pills would help the situation. I was in the office for 4 hours. First I wouldn’t take my clothes off and then I wouldn’t let him touch me. It was horrible. When the doctor finally did get to the actual exam I was completely unable to relax. It was a nightmare. I attempted to go back to the gyno for years following and still the same results. Nervousness, tension, and extreme anxiety are symptoms I faced. My friends would complete their gyno appointments without a problem and often say to me, “What is the big deal”. I really thought I was all alone.
Sex has always been a problem. Although I would complete outercourse without a problem, when the penis would even go near the opening I would redirect it to the outer part of the vagina. My husband was a virgin when I met him so I thought he didn’t know the difference. Little did I know he also knew there was a problem (now he will admit that to me).
Here I am 26 years old, married for 2 years, and having a big problem with penetration. I want to have children but how can I? I think OK maybe some sperm will slip up and then I will deal with the 9 months of gyno appointments. Hopefully, when the time comes I can beg for a c-section. I knew this wasn’t going to work.
I first found the word “vaginismus” in an old book a friend let me borrow years prior. I was reading the section on painful intercourse and there was one tiny section that said, “You may have vaginismus”. I ran to the computer and did a search on the word “vaginismus”. I didn’t even know there was a word. I thought I was the only one in the entire world with this problem. This is where I found the Women’s Therapy Center. I made a “discreet” phone call and was called back immediately by Ross. I was amazed at how openly she could discuss the “5 penetrations of life”. I can vividly recall not wanting to hang up the phone because this woman knew so much about this issue and I finally felt that I wasn’t alone. I made an appointment (which I had to wait some time for) ordered the book and took names and numbers of women who had vaginismus in the past. Speaking with women who have experience with vaginismus and the treatment was a complete savior.
I had to wait 6 months for an appointment. When the day finally arrived I remember feeling extremely nervous and excited. I walked in for my initial meeting with my husband and knew that I made the right decision. My treatment progressed nicely and every week I could feel my confidence and self-esteem building. Ross and Ditza are a great pair and prove that they are experts on the topic of vaginismus.
Please let me mention that my treatment at WTC was an experience that I will never forget. Ross and Ditza taught me about my body, sex, and self-esteem. This treatment was an amazing journey.
I now have Ross and Ditza to thank for the biggest gift anyone could ever ask for. I’M THREE MONTHS PREGNANT and able to live life as a full woman. I obviously go to the gynecologist monthly and actually look forward to it. Finally, thank you Ross and Ditza for opening doors to my life. You are both the best*.
J.H.
* Results may vary from person to person
