Why can’t a hug just be a hug, instead of his hands and mind going in the direction of sexual engagement???
This is one of the most common of sentiments expressed by (frustrated) women, which highlights a fundamental difference between female and male: women thrive on affection (hugging, kissing, cuddling, soft verbalization, massage, romantic gestures, etc.) whereas men receive their validation and love and connection from a sexual act.
Now, hold off your hate comments for the following disclaimer: many men cherish affection and enjoy giving and receiving it. However, take away sexual connection, and they will feel incomplete.
For women, thinking and feeling sexual is nice and normal but it may not be acted on for hours, days or years on end. However, take away affection and you can easily have frustration and negativity.
So, can a hug just be a hug? Make sure to openly discuss with your partner if he gets the ‘wrong message’ from your affectionate gesture; you would not want to begin avoiding affectionate contact in anticipation of sexual expectations from him.