Doing ‘it’ wrong?

Posted by womentc in Vaginismus Blog 01 May 2009

A repeated question by many patients: “Am I doing it wrong? I cannot have intercourse.”

And more questions:

  • Is he trying to get into the wrong hole (vagina)?
  • Maybe I do not have a hole (vagina)?
  • Are we doing it in a wrong position?

The truth is that nature created us in favor of having intercourse and most females do have a (hole) vagina.  Of course there are situations of developmental glitches where the genitals are malformed but that would have been attended to earlier in life.  And then there is vaginismus – the inability (or great difficulty) to have vaginal penetration, a medical condition with an available cure.

But if you are healthy ladies without genital medical issues, you should be able to fit a ‘penis in vagina’ just by following your inert instincts regardless of the sexual position or your level of arousal.  This is similar to being able to feed yourself (finding your mouth) without looking in a mirror.

Remember: the body has its own GPS system to guide us.  Doubts and difficulties arise when anxiety takes over and interfers.