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Enjoying the dilators?

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A typical comment/question raised by our patients with vaginal penetration problems (vaginismus, dyspareunia, vulvodynia) as they are practicing with dilators is: “I cannot see how this will ever be enjoyable!”  A valid, realistic concern; let’s sort it out:

  • The treatment itself is not arousing.  Read Treatment & Arousal
  • For the woman, enjoyable intercourse is not fathomable when penetration is painful and distressing, or while ‘in training’
  • Conversely, sexual arousal will not make penetration possible nor will it take pain away (a common misconception)
  • However, once penetration is available and is pain-free, she can ‘turn on the sexual switch’ in her head and find enjoyment and arousal

Conclusion: first step is owning the vagina and being able to have vaginal penetrations in neutrality (no pain, no distress); next – opt to allow enjoyment/arousal to happen.

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  • Erin says:

    I remember you explaining how with intercourse, many women are perpetual thinkers and have a hard time shutting off the brain. I also remember thinking, “how will this ever be enjoyable during treatment.” But that’s the point…once it’s automatic, you DON’T have to think anymore…and then you CAN enjoy!

    • womentc says:

      Thank You, Erin! As one who has been there, you know the truth and are a living proof that this is factual.