Struggling with painful sexual intercourse or vaginismus? Contact us for help.

So often patients with vaginismus or dyspareunia (painful intercourse) will try to rush the treatment process by telling us, “I need to give him intercourse because I feel so bad for him…”

What is it that makes women feel so indebted? So ‘on duty?’ So worried that “he will leave?” So protective of male sexual desires at the expense of their own anxiety regarding the matter? Why do women believe that men cannot survive without intercourse, as if their penis will fall off in sexual starvation?

Fact: had the situation been reversed and the penis would have had the problem, its owner would not have reacted like that but rather would tell her, “sorry, it hurts and I must refrain until cured.” Men are not into self-imposed suffering, a trait many women lack.

(Note: this post does not address those cultures where women have little option but perform sexually or are dismissed)

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center

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