Struggling with painful sexual intercourse or vaginismus? Contact us for help.

Updated June 5, 2018

Is it really about how long a time it lasts, or about the level of satisfaction it brings? A male sexual template would liked intercourse to last for as long as possible, fueled by their efficient arousal mechanism that utilizes all sense; not so for the female’s sexual template, which is much shorter.

As to vaginal comfort: can your vagina handle ‘the longer the better’ intercourse without chafing irritation? Remember: the longer they thrust, the drier the vagina will get, so make sure to stop intercourse when you had enough, or to add lubrication if you wish it to continue. It is your obligation to your genital health to keep your vagina irritation-free!

Another reminder: most women do not get aroused just because the penis got inside them and is thrusting; clitoral stimulation, direct or indirect is necessary. This adds a dimension to ‘how long would I want to have the penis inside me, even if comfortable?’ Could be a very long laundry list…

Our clinical experience suggests that most sexual encounters follow a pattern of satisfying the woman first (gives the male an opportunity to keep his arousal going for a long time…), followed by the woman giving him intercourse. In that common scenario, women do prefer a short & sweet intercourse.

An option for a longer lasting intercourse: this can easily happen when couples engage in simultaneous stimulation: ‘working on her’ while his penis is inside her and thrusting just enough to maintain his arousal, timing it to climax in tandem with her.

Stopwatch anyone?

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center
  • Exhibit C April 12, 2010 at 2:03 pm / Reply

    How large a sample size do we need?

  • criticaldemocracy April 9, 2008 at 10:10 pm / Reply

    It all depends on mood, energy level, individual desires, mutual desires, scheduling constrants, length of time between sessions of intercourse, age, experience, experience shared among particular partners, physical conditioning, past traumas, temperature, diet, culture. Ok, now design a statistical study taking all these variables into account 🙂

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