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Menopause and painful sex – do I care?

The decline in estrogen levels has a profound effect on the woman, and on her ‘shriveling’ vagina.  The thought of penetrative sex (intercourse) will present a challenge because of associated friction irritation and pain.  Add to it a woman’s natural decline in sexual interest and you may hear the following conversations between partners:

  • Conversation #1: “I am done and so is my vagina. You can do whatever you want (sexually) but don’t bother me.”
  • Conversation #2: “Are you kidding me? I have just started treatment to stretch my tight vagina and you already have ideas of us experimenting with you penis???  No way!”
  • Conversation #3: “I am worried that my penis will not function (erectile dysfunction) by the time your vagina is back in action, so let’s do something now…”
  • Conversation #4: “I am undergoing treatment just for you, which is no easy task.  Personally, I don’t care if we ever have intercourse again.”
  • Conversation #5: “Do you miss the days when we were into it, and it was fun, and easy?  Yes, I do miss them too.”

And lastly, from an 80-something patient who called with the following: “I need to come in and fix my vagina so I can keep up with my husband now that he is on Viagra!”  And she did.  And they were happy…

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center

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