A husband of a former patient emailed us recently with the following question:
“I still have not been able to give my wife sensual pleasure during sexual intimacy. I tried many suggestions mentioned in the books as well as what you taught us, but her body just does not feel the sensation of pleasure that I expect. Is there anything I can do about it?”
Based on our clinical experience with sexual intimate matters and their subjective nature, we arranged for a discussion with the couple to clarify the situation.
The wife said that:
- She is having orgasms just fine
- They are typically mini-orgasms (not necessarily ‘big ones’)
- The orgasms are satisfying, body and mind
- She is very happy
The discussion continued to include an explanation of the differences between male and female orgasms, the ejaculation factor that is typical to men only, and the importance of satisfaction by each party as the key to successful sexual intimacy.
The husband came to realize that he expected her to feel the same ‘explosive’ orgasms that he has been experiencing.
The couple left happy and armed with a better understanding of their sexual expectations and of the need for honest communication.