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Reluctant to Use Condoms?!

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We’ve been shocked lately by the large number of female patients who expressed reluctance to use condoms with their partners despite the risk of exposure to STIs (Sexually Transmitted infections, the current terminology).

At first we thought they were not informed of the risk — but they were.  Then we thought it only happened once, but were told that it goes on regularly…

Aha, you may say, these must be silly young adults who are under the surge of sex hormones, flushed with lust (still, no excuse!).  No, no, no — they were ladies in their 50s and 60s, educated, bright, and sexually experienced!

So we posed our standard question: do you know where his penis was before it visited your vagina???  We heard different replies:

  • “But he is a clean, good, responsible guy!”
  • “He was only with 2 other women before me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable talking to him about using condoms…”
  • “He says he doesn’t like to use condoms…”
  • “I don’t want to lose him by insisting on it…”
  • “He says he is okay and I want to believe him…”
  • “It will affect the spontaneity of our sex…”
  • “Should I talk to him about STIs?  Is it really important?”

And so we continue to treat women who contacted STIs from unprotected sex.

Apparently, the road to female sexual equality and self-protection from STIs is still long and bumpy.

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  • Dex says:

    I object to the suggestion that STI’s come exclusively from a man’s penis. How many men know about the real number of penis’s that have been before his? This post is large on opinion, short on common sense.

    • womentc says:

      Sexual infections are transmitted via sexual contact, may it be from a contact with a penis (heterosexual sex) or a vagina (lesbian sex).

  • RB says:

    One of your best posts ever, and too true! “Affects the spontaneity of the sex…” is one of the biggest barriers towards using barriers, but STIs aren’t anything anyone would like to face anytime soon. Of course, people sometimes DO think the pill can protect against disease as well as pregnancy when it doesn’t. However, those educated and told often enough……….it’s not only shocking. It’s sad.
    Keep up your great work!