Reluctant to Use Condoms?!

We’ve been shocked lately by the large number of female patients who expressed reluctance to use condoms with their partners despite the risk of exposure to STIs (Sexually Transmitted infections, the current terminology).

At first we thought they were not informed of the risk — but they were.  Then we thought it only happened once, but were told that it goes on regularly…

Aha, you may say, these must be silly young adults who are under the surge of sex hormones, flushed with lust (still, no excuse!).  No, no, no — they were ladies in their 50s and 60s, educated, bright, and sexually experienced!

So we posed our standard question: do you know where his penis was before it visited your vagina???  We heard different replies:

• “But he is a clean, good, responsible guy!”
• “He was only with 2 other women before me…”
• “I am uncomfortable talking to him about using condoms…”
• “He says he doesn’t like to use condoms…”
• “I don’t want to lose him by insisting on it…”
• “He says he is okay and I want to believe him…”
• “It will affect the spontaneity of our sex…”
• “Should I talk to him about STIs?  Is it really important?”

And so we continue to treat women who contacted STIs from unprotected sex.

Apparently, the road to female sexual equality and self-protection from STIs is still long and bumpy.