Jane and her husband had a therapy session at his therapist’s office; the topic was sex and orgasm. The (male) therapist told Jane that her ‘problem’ is her quiet demeanor during sexual arousal: “you do not ooh and aah during the act… You do not talk dirty… You do not vocalize loud, you do not scream in ecstasy.”
Jane sought our counsel to address her outrage and confusion: “am I the only woman who does not make sounds during the act? Am I to be an actress or be me? How dare he say this to me?”
The fact: to each their own ‘sexual style’ — some are quiet while others are loud; some speak ‘dirty’ and some use ‘clean’ language; some sigh while others moan, etc.
There should be no mandating of vocalization during sexual intimacy — it is a time of freedom of expression, of being yourself and enjoying the moment in your own style.
However, there should definitely be clear communication to ensure that each party reaches their utmost sexual satisfaction.