Struggling with painful sexual intercourse or vaginismus? Contact us for help.

Sexual boredom

Posted by womentc in Painful Sex (Dyspareunia), Sexual Dysfunction 22 Jun 2010

Why do women get bored with sex while men always find it of interest?

The answer can be long and complex but we’ll try to condense it to a short list:

  • Anthropologically speaking, females seek sex (mating) for reproduction purposes only, a function that diminishes with age.
  • Genetically speaking, males are equipped with a vivid, active sexual imagination that recruits all senses (smell, look, touch, etc.) for heightening it, and it lasts their lifetime.
  • Generally speaking, women seek validation and love through affection and verbal communication whereas men channel it through sexual interaction.
  • For women, sexual arousal demands ‘shutting down’ the thinking/worried brain = a bit of work; for men – sexual arousal shuts down those potentially-interrupting activities = no work at all.
  • Once a relationship is established and of long standing, a woman’s excitement about its sexual exploration is greatly diminished or even gone.  Of course, a romantic getaway or a special affectionate gesture by the partner may rekindle it (even if for a short duration only). Also, don’t be afraid to explore new ways, toys, positions, etc.
  • The media continuously presents love and sex in the most envious, exciting, glamorous ways, when in actuality they bring frustration and unrealistic expectations to women and relationships.  Porno movies and some television shows are not real life!

Conclusion: once the woman is settled in a relationship and knows all his ‘sexual moves,’ sexual boredom may be inevitable unless she works hard at keeping her sexual interest going.