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Male partners will often raise the same typical question when seeing her doing vaginal penetration exercises: “Does it feel good? Does it turn you on?”  This happens with such regularity that it prompted writing this post.

The answer: NO!

A reminder: unlike the penis, which is a one-for-all body part (urination, sexual activities), the vagina is not a sexual organ but rather a passageway connecting the uterus/cervix to the outside.

Women use their vagina for

  • Medical reasons: gynecologic exam, inserting medication/s, etc.
  • Hygienic reasons: tampons
  • Sexual reasons, when they ‘turn on’ the sexual switch = the mind, then the clitoris.

Women with penetration problems (i.e. vaginismus, dyspareunia, vulvodynia, menopause, cancer, etc.) who are doing vaginal penetration exercises with dilators/dildos never get turned on — it is merely a medical process during which they are focused on gaining vaginal function, far away from any sexual interest.  And, they would be quite appreciative if the partner refrains from suggesting a sexual encounter to follow.

Bottom line: do not associate penetration training with sex because vaginal penetration should be available ‘in neutrality’ and without being associated with the need to be aroused!

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  • womentc says:

    Yes and no… Inasmuch as the vagina is not an erogenous zone (neither tampons nor a gynecologic exam are arousing!), there is a sense of ‘togetherness’ even when just giving him intercourse.

    Typically, couples seem to have the man please the woman first, then she pleases him; some couple do the opposite, or even take turns; other couples do simultaneous stimulation so that they climax together. There is a great mix out there with a common goal: to make everyone satisfied.

  • Duane says:

    I guess my question then is why do women do it? If it isn’t pleasurable what is the point? Is it just to please the man?