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Vaginismus – a gift?

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Is it possible that vaginismus has a silver lining???

Impossible, you say? It is a terrible condition; it destroys life and hopes; it brings pain; it is surrounded by shame and embarrassment; it is so elusive that most doctors do not know what to do with it.  So how can anything good come of it?

Initially, we thought so too.  But, having treated nearly 900 women with vaginismus, we have come to observe that there may be a positive in having vaginismus, such as:

  • It allows couples time to develop their relationship, which would have fizzled otherwise;
  • It protects women from being stuck with several kids in a dysfunctional marriage;
  • It affords the woman time to mature and develop;
  • In offers ‘an out’ in situations of arranged marriages that do not work;
  • It gives women an excuse to end an unhappy relationship instead of pretending she is happy (yes, often women do not speak up!);
  • It delays childbearing only to find out that there are conception problems/genetic risks, calling for alternative means of having kids;

Given the choice to reflect on their vaginismus once cured or even during the treatment process, most of our patients were able to see its silver lining, embrace it move on with life in a more positive, empowered way.

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  • Ellie says:

    This is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read in my life. Vaginismus left me feeling humiliated and broken, it ruined my relationship, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I may never have children and if I do I’ll have to have a C-section or risk serious internal damage. When my friends talk about sex and swap stories, I can’t join in. I have to sit there and smile and laugh like I know what they’re talking about. I’ve had to accept that I might never have sex. Vaginismus is not a gift.