Does having vaginismus mean a death sentence to the woman’s sexual life and orgasms? Is she to forgo that important aspect of the relationship? Is she to shut down sexual interest altogether? Absolutely NOT!
Vaginismus is a condition whereby vaginal penetrations are difficult or altogether impossible. Vaginismus has nothing to do with the ability to get sexually aroused and climax.
Yes, it is absolutely safe to be sexually active with vaginismus all the way to orgasm/climax without any concerns or worries.
Sexual arousal for a woman has to do with her mind being in a sexual mode and free of worries, and her clitoris being stimulated per her preferences, in addition to any other stimulation ways she likes.
The clitoris is situated north of the vagina, way above the vaginal and urinary tube’s openings and thus has no direct involvement with vaginismus.
However, It is important to mind the underlying anxiety that is always present in vaginismus so that it won’t interfere with sexual arousal and the ultimate climaxing: a worried mind will not allow for sexual arousal to take place!
Also, the woman and partner need to agree and trust that there won’t be any surprise attempts for vaginal penetration or the woman will be on guard, which will kill any hope for a positive sexual experience and arousal.
No, having an orgasm will not cure the vaginismus because they are not interconnected. An orgasm is about being in the sexual zone and experiencing sexual arousal to climax regardless of vaginal penetration, while vaginismus is about difficulties with vaginal penetrations.
Yes, vaginismus can negatively affect orgasms because of its associated anxiety. This negative impact may range from mild disruption to a condition called anorgasmia, which means the inability to reach orgasm:
The woman may not be able to shut out her worries about pain, and penetration, how it will feel, and whatever else is on her mind;
A worried mind is reluctant to engage sexually;
And if trying to engage, a worried mind often will prevent sexual arousal from happening;
If the woman can somehow manage to get aroused, she may ‘lose it’ along the way or hold back from climaxing in fear of losing control.
There can be different reasons why you haven’t been able to reach orgasm, some reasons are because of the vaginismus, and the rest being totally unrelated:
For the vaginismus reasons, see the section above.
None-vaginismus reasons include:
You are a beginner and don’t quite know how to go about it;
You are nervous or worried, which will shut down the arousal mechanism;
You are afraid of ‘how it will feel;’
You cannot shut down your wandering mind, thinking about this and that, all which kills sexual arousal;
You are being pushed or pressured to perform sexually.
Diagnosing vaginismus does not include the ability to orgasm.
Diagnosing vaginismus has to do with assessing the ability to have all the following vaginal penetrations without any fear or distress:
Tampon, menstrual disk, menstrual cup
Vaginal applicator for inserting medication
Pelvic/gynecologic examination with a full-size speculum
Vaginal sonogram, and
Intercourse, or a penis-sized dilator/dildo
No, women do not need vaginal penetration for sexual arousal because their clitoris is located outside of the vagina and way above it anatomically.
Being sexually aroused during intercourse or with a vaginal dilator/dildo in the vagina is a choice for the woman, not a sexual must.
Had the vagina been a sexual organ, every tampon insertion would have been a thrill, and every gynecologic exam a delight…
An orgasm is an orgasm, whether it happens during penetrative sex or during any other sexual activity.
Vaginal orgasm refers to a woman climaxing during sexual intercourse, something not many women experience unless they are clitorally stimulated at the same time.
There is no such thing as vaginismus orgasm.
Contact us for vaginismus treatments.
Join our vaginismus support group on Facebook.