Any suggestions for how to relax the vagina before I use the dilators for my vaginismus treatment?
This is a common question that is being raised time and again because anxiety is always a component of the condition. To be more specific, vaginismus is a psychosomatic condition, a body-mind phenomenon that involved the worry/fear of penetration with a bodily reaction of refrain, tight vaginal opening, legs closing, and more.
Relaxation advice abound: a warm bath, meditation, yoga, visual imagery, Kegel exercises, finger massage in the vagina, sexual arousal, partner’s finger insertion, etc., but they all miss the point: vaginal penetration (finger, tampon, intercourse) needs to be a simple body function void of ‘preparation…’
The more a woman engages in any of these relaxation means the more she is enabling her anxiety and the farther she is from a cure. It does not take long/much for anxiety patterns to multiply and strengthen, yet it takes a very long process to undue them. Of course, vaginismus makes that a challenge.
The solution should include
- Not medicalizing the problem – the vagina is typically fine, only nervous;
- Not artificializing it by engaging in unnecessary rituals and patterns;
- Not enabling the anxiety – the very key factor;
- Normalizing penetration: make it work for you as if on ‘auto pilot.’
So, to answer the original question: no need for a lengthy preparatory activity before penetration. A quick reflection of acceptance, a quick exhalation upon initial insertion, and a quick reminder that the vagina was built to function should do it.
Seek professional intervention if you cannot master it on your own.