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What should I think about during intercourse?

Yes, many women wonder about this one — should I think about the penis? Should I count how many thrusts he does? Should I think about how I feel? How about fantasizing?  A shopping list???

A man would hope that the woman is loving every second of the intercourse and is as turned on sexually as he is.  Indeed, at times, a woman will be ‘into it’ and will be in the same sexual zone with her partner.  But the rest of the times?

  • He may have already pleased her sexually prior to intercourse and now she is just enjoying the intimate closeness without any sexual arousal;
  • She is ‘giving’ him intercourse without being interested in being sexual right now, or has bartered for a back rub, a foot massage, etc., instead, which is perfectly normal;
  • Her mind is preoccupied and is far away from (his) physical act;
  • She feels pressure, or obligation, to sexually please him and resents every moment of it;
  • She is afraid of penetration (vaginismus) or is experiencing pain (dyspareunia);

So what is on the woman’s mind during intercourse???  It depends on where her body, mind, and sexual being are at the moment.

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center

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