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What should I think about during intercourse?

Posted by Ditza Katz in Painful Sex (Dyspareunia), Sexual Dysfunction, Vaginismus Blog, Women's Health 16 Jun 2014

Yes, many women wonder about this one — should I think about the penis? Should I count how many thrusts he does? Should I think about how I feel? How about fantasizing?  A shopping list???

A man would hope that the woman is loving every second of the intercourse and is as turned on sexually as he is.  Indeed, at times, a woman will be ‘into it’ and will be in the same sexual zone with her partner.  But the rest of the times?

  • He may have already pleased her sexually prior to intercourse and now she is just enjoying the intimate closeness without any sexual arousal;
  • She is ‘giving’ him intercourse without being interested in being sexual right now, or has bartered for a back rub, a foot massage, etc., instead, which is perfectly normal;
  • Her mind is preoccupied and is far away from (his) physical act;
  • She feels pressure, or obligation, to sexually please him and resents every moment of it;
  • She is afraid of penetration (vaginismus) or is experiencing pain (dyspareunia);

So what is on the woman’s mind during intercourse???  It depends on where her body, mind, and sexual being are at the moment.