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Heterosexual sex in the media tends to portray the engaging couple as always ‘into it,’ forever moving smoothly about their sexual actions, knowing exactly what they like and how they like it, all body parts fitting just so, the woman is always interested/eager/ready for the man, and both experience an awesome orgasm — a display of sheer perfection, and the excitement of fantasy!

Fact: sex in reality isn’t perfect, and we must not allow the media to define our Perfect Sex.

For women in particular: why do you feel less sex-capable than what is portrayed in the media? Why be in competition with the porno stars? Why the feeling that you must to be ready for him the moment he wants it?  Why the notion that his sexuality is so fragile that any interruption by you will cause him disappointment?  What happened to your loyalty to your needs? And when was sexual intimacy stripped of its ‘relationship’ component (excluding cultures that put restrictions and demands on female sexual role & performance)???

For the nuts & bolts of sexual reality, consider the following ordinary interruptions and glitches, in no particular order:

Yes, you may experience THE PERFECT SEX from time to time, and when you do — rejoice and hope for another one to come your way again real soon.  Until then, work on your sexual relationship, and use the media if a taste of fantasy is what you want.

About The Author

vaginismus specialist Dr. Ditza Katz team member Women's Therapy Center
  • Pocket September 12, 2011 at 3:41 am / Reply

    Just saw the replies here. Believe it or not, a lot of girls are in the mood all the time. Being in the mood doesn’t always mean we can have what we want. Partner isn’t always there, have to work, friends stop over and interrupt , partner comes home grumpy and ruins it, etc…

  • Pocket August 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm / Reply

    I’m all about the perfect sex, but the less than perfect stuff is part of what makes it so great when things are spot on wonderful.
    I’m one of those girls who is in the mood almost 100% of the time. It’s usually a partner issue that causes the not so great stuff, but also I get dryness for about a week out of the month from hormones. Lube is my friend.

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