Last Updated on March 24, 2025
To do it, or not?
The following are common questions about oral sex, also known as cunnilingus:
- Is it enjoyable? Typically, yes.
- Is it safe? Yes, unless the do-er has oral herpes/cold sores/dental infection, etc. Another precaution: if the man is uncircumcised, it is important to make sure that the foreskin is properly cleaned.
- Is it gross? That depends on your perception of sex and sexuality.
- “Do I have to swallow his semen?” No, you do not — most women don’t. You and your partner need to develop a signal he will give before he is about to ejaculate so that you can move your mouth away.
- “What’s to like about it?” The tongue can move at various speeds, and powers (= hard, light, etc.), and it is wet (= no need for lubrication). The penis/clitoris would not ‘know’ what touches it as long as the touch is sexually arousing. The rest — thoughts/fantasies/doubts — originate in the brain…
- Can oral herpes/cold sores be transmitted to the genitals? Absolutely!!
- “I do not feel my vagina smells clean…” A reminder: the vagina, like the penis, has its own scent. You need to be clean, not sterile down there.
- “Should I shave my pubic hair?” Your choice; some women do, while many do not bother.
- Can oral sex be performed on both, the genitals and the anus? Only if you move from the genitals to the anus, but NEVER the reverse.
- “Does everyone do oral sex but me?” Not quite. It is a personal choice, which some take and others decline. Some religions prohibit it altogether.
- “I have a new partner and I would rather not mouth his penis for fear of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. What shall I do?” Hooray to you for being so wise! Make sure he dons either a plain (without spermicide/lubricant) or a flavored condom before you perform oral sex on his penis.
- Can oral sex be done to a woman during menstruation? Yes, if she uses tampons.
- Can pregnancy happen via oral sex? No, unless you end the oral sex by allowing him to ejaculate by your vaginal opening.
- Is oral sex considered sex? Although some would only define sex as intercourse (penis-in-vagina), the truth is that anything that has to with sexual activity/arousal is considered sex.
